"Get Over It"

(Song by Eagles)

Today was one of those days. Broken glass. Shower curtain fell down. It felt like anything I touched broke...so I isolated myself. Hmmmm...good idea? I spent today crying, reading, praying, thinking, fixing, and contemplating my life. Let me take a moment to point out that I am usually a positive and upbeat person. Laughing and finding the good in people and situations are my forte. My dad taught me about being positive. He taught me through the example of his life and everyday I feel so grateful for that. Being positive makes life manageable...until you can't be positive. I think that's the misconception about happy people: that they are always happy. Nope. No one is always happy. Grammy told dad and then dad told me, when you are down or frustrated or sad...you get ONE DAY! Wallow. Cry. Be angry. Isolate. Do what you need to do. But only for ONE DAY! Even in the depths of despair, grief, anger...those words resonate with me. I carry them with me wherever I go.

Loneliness and loser-y...those were my major hurdles today. I've recently "gotten back out there" in the dating world via an online site. I have my first date on Sunday. Eh...I'm not excited. I'm not not excited...I'm just....Eh. So, I beat myself up for not being excited. What's wrong with you? You have a date! Be excited, but it's not working. Anxiety seems to be getting the best of me. But, as dad always said, "You have one day!" So tomorrow will be better. The date will happen. I'm sure it will be fine.

Today taught me to be grateful for my friends. Two called today when I needed to talk. The second phone call was from a friend who is going on the same journey (online dating) as I am. Oh, there's nothing like being heard and understood by a friend!