Ch...ch...ch...changes!

Ugh! Am I the only one who feels like this? I want to be happy. There have been so many changes in my life lately.Exciting changes, scary changes...life, you know? I work hard to make good choices to make me happy. Why does it seem like everything is backfiring? I feel alone, and today I feel like I'm a failure. Intellectually I know it's not true, but it's how I feel. My bedroom is filling up with water, as I write this blog. It won't be addressed until Monday. Work is a lonely place. I feel like I do not belong, a lot of the time. Right now, I don't feel good, either. When will things improve? I'm looking forward to life changing for the better.

Ch Ch Ch Change...

I made a decision to transfer schools this year. I've been at my previous school for almost ten years, but it became an unhealthy place for me professionally. Last spring, I interviewed and got the job. I shared the news with my colleagues and all was good. The reality has set in and it's harder than I thought it'd be.

Going back to work in August has always been very social for me. Catching up with old friends and checking in with each other. Commiserating, giggling, and hugging were integral parts of back to school. This year it's different. No one (practically) knows me. Being middle school, it's a different environment than the touchy-feely elementary teachers....I feel isolated. No one invites me to lunch. I've eaten alone three times in five days.

Of course, being single compounds this feeling of lonliness. When I get home, it's me and my dog. It won't always be like this. I know. It's hard. I've NEVER been a woman who's afraid to be alone. I understand that feeling for the first time.